To My Dear One,
I haven't been myself this season. I don't want the joy and the laughter. I don't want snow or lights or cookies. I don't even want presents at this point. I just want you. No friends and family. Just you. I can't enjoy the music like I normally do. Most of it sings about two individuals being separated over Christmas. They make me sad and miss you and just wish we could hit fast forward to when we rise out of this hole and have a happy, stable life. And we are coming out of this hole. I know it. But for now I just have to keep my sadness to myself and try to find the words to explain how intangible my yearning for you has become. I love you and I am still excited about your gifts. They're things that I picked on my own for the love of my life. Things that when I saw, I thought of you. I'll tell you what you're getting tomorrow morning. It's still a Christmas gift, so you still can't know until Christmas. And one line that I've found comfort in is "I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams." I dream of our home. Our life when we have money and our own place and everything is just wonderful. And I won't feel at home unless you're around. That's why I want to see you when I wake up tomorrow, first thing in the morning. That way I can feel a little at home, at least for the time in which I'm looking at your beauty and telling myself that I will sacrifice anything to make this girl happy. I love you and I can no longer go a Christmas without you being with me.
Truly Yours,
Those Jolly Lions
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